Trauma
Trauma is when someone is exposed to distressing or frightening events that are out of their control, life threatening, or emotionally disturbing that have a lasting effect on mental, social, emotional and/ or spiritual well being.
My approach to treating trauma
Trauma can be a single episode, repetitive, an entire childhood or work based. Trauma can come from physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, or criminal abuse. Trauma can happen in your safe place, in public, in the dark, at work, or in a foreign country serving your country. Trauma can come from a friend, family member, peer, a stranger or a situation.
Human beings deserve to have agency and validation. Lack of being recognized as a human being with bodily autonomy can also be traumatizing. Bullying can be traumatic. Being considered an extension of a family member or significant other instead of your own person can be traumatic.
As a trauma informed therapist, you are seen as the expert on what happened to you and where. Some memories can be non-verbal and others intrusive with words that still haunt you to this day. Some traumatic memories can be a series of select sensory experiences. A veteran may only feel the flash of a bomb while a rape survivor may only smell the cologne of the attacker. Again, the person is the expert on what happened to them. How an event is remembered doesn’t diminish the trauma experienced.
I am here with a trained eye and ear to listen to whatever comes up for my clients. I believe them and validate their right to agency. I believe that clients do not have to relive the trauma over and over or talk about it to heal from it. I use the Flash method of EMDR so that clients can talk about their joys and happy moments instead of the trauma. You lived through it once, you shouldn't have to live through it again and again retelling it.
Schedule a free session to see if my approach is a good fit for you.
Trauma Levels
The more trauma repeats and the younger it occurs..
01
Primary
A thing happened to you. The people around you were either supportive or sent you to get support. This thing you survived happened and it does not define you. A few sessions of EMDR of some type with an attachment therapist, and you'll be right as rain in spring.
The important thing that distingishes this from the others, is that your self-concept has not changed as a result of the trauma. You are still you.
02
Secondary
Something has happened to you that traumatized you and now you are depressed and or anxious. The trauma either happened repetitively or you witnessed it happen to a primary caregiver repetitively.
You've become aware of what Freud says is an id and a superego or an inner child and inner critic. You work now to be equidistant from both to find a peace in yourself.
You may find yourself disassociating or your brain going in idle. You may even feel like things are unreal around you and would rather escape into a day dream or your favorite book or streaming show. You are still you. You may just hear the inner critic criticizing or the inner child making you want to fawn for no apparent reason.
03
Tertiary
That something that traumatized you happened when you were a child. Maybe, it to just you or maybe to others that you loved. You were small, fawning didn't protect you and acting out like a feral puppy didn't work to save you and it happened many times. Your fight, flight, and freeze are separate parts of you. When you disassociate and depersonalize, another part of you takes over to protect you. You are a system.
04
Quadratic
Not only are you one system, but you are 2 or more collective systems. Sometimes the trauma happens in utero and continues into babyhood. Sometimes the trauma is intergenerational and each generation is trying to do a shade better. Sometimes, the trauma is something that happened that everyone in your family knows about, but won't talk about and won't admit. But, you're a system within systems and now you have to live with it because of the trauma on repetitive trauma.
My Approach to Levels of Trauma
No matter what happened to you, no matter what your abusers say, no matter what level of trauma you have, you still deserve:
1
AGENCY:
Your view on what happened to you, is cannon. Even if, you remember it differently later --you are the expert on your experience. You get to be person in charge of what you share and how much you share. I will never pull anything out of you or make you share something you do not want to share. I will always respect your choice to say, I'm done.
4
A SAFE PLACE
During the trauma, often times safe places were denied. Flashbacks are reminders of the lack of calm safe places during the traumatic period. I use EMDR to tap in your chosen safe place. It could be real or imagined. It could be fictive or a place you've always wanted to visit. One thing is true, I will help you build a safe place that can't be taken away, ever again.
2
VALIDATION:
I believe you. You deserve to be seen, hear, and understood as the dynamic multifaceted human being you are. Even if your story is non-verbal and communicating is tough. We'll piece it together however you see best.
5
HEALING
Every part of you deserves healing. You did not deserve trauma. You lived through the trauma(s) once, you do not have to keep living through it again and again in talk therapy. I do Flash! so you can talk about what's right in your life or your special interest while letting your brain process the trauma.
3
BOUNDARIES
Many survivors struggle with establish boundaries to keep themselves safe. I work to help clients make consistent boundaries that help them to retain the energy they want for the life that they want.
6
COPING SKILLS
Flashbacks, triggers, and general bad memories pop up outside of therapy sessions. I teach my clients coping skills to be able to handle what comes up. Trauma may have stole years of your life, but it stops its theft now. You have a right to a new form of normalcy.
Make No Mistake
If you have a system or are plural, you survived some serious trauma. You are not alone. While there may be a stigma to be plural, if you hadn't been you might not have survived your childhood or your trauma. I do not treat my plural clients as a stigma. I believe my clients and treat them like the expert of their experience. Wholeness does not come with killing off the system. Wholeness comes from awareness and compassion.